To Be Completely Honest…

As many of you know, I’m traveling with Life Action Ministries this year. We’ve been doing a Bible study as a team and the section this week was on honesty. So, I’m going to be honest with y’all. 

I want to be content in my singleness, but I’m struggling. 

I see people on my social media platforms -Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc. – who are in love, in relationships, engaged or newlywedded and I have to swallow back the envy and the selfpity that surfaces. Because I’m not in a relationship. I’m single. And frankly, I don’t like it. 

But I also don’t like the feeling of uncontentment. I don’t want to be the boy crazy college girl who chases them all over and scares the crap out of them. I want guys to be friends with me and feel safe. I don’t want to violate that friendship. I don’t want to be a flirt! 

So … for me … the secret of contentment seems elusive. I don’t do well in it no matterbhow hard I try. Because “so and so is engaged, and s/he is in a wonderful relationship. Oh and don’t forget them! Their perfect wedding photos are spamming my news feeds.”

GOD! I cry inwardly, When are you going to bring me my Mr. Right? When is it my turn?! 

And then, today, during my team meeting it hit me … it is only when we abide in Christ that we can truly be content. 

Philippians 4:11-13

Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me. 

Psalm 37:3-5 

Trust in the Lord , and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord , and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord ; trust in him, and he will act.

Psalm 37:7a 

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him. 

When I am content to be with Jesus – when all my desires are in sync with Him – then I’ll be granted the desires of my heart. (And they’ll look very much like His!) They’ll be prfect, wonderful, and blessed because they are on God’s timetable and not my own. 

Does this mean I won’t struggle? No. I’m human. Flawed and imperfect. Susceptible to temptations and downfalls. I won’t be able to conquer this right away, even with Jesus.

However, with my eyes set on Jesus, and what His plans for my future – and also my here and now – look like, I’ll be able to be content. I won’t be unsettled or sidetracked because I’ll be standing on the rock that is higher than myself. 

Psalm 61:2b 

…lead me to the rock that is higher than I.